Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What evil lurks


My computer has been running so s-l-o-w lately, this is how I feel I will meet my maker. Sitting at the desk, staring at the monitor, watching the little hour glass dance around the screen and seeing the pinwheel whirl around in the load bar.

The stress of watching, waiting, watching, waiting will take its toll and my head will loll over and smack the keyboard.

Honestly, as I sit here I can feel brain cells dying off. It's like I'm caught in some big Twilight Zone phenomena of psychological torture that makes water boarding seem like a trip to Pleasantville. Does Dick Cheney have stock in Intel?

At the very least I'm in a borderline trance and extremely susceptible to the power of suggestion. Oh my gosh, that's it. Dell has hijacked my PC and they're sending me subliminal messages. Last week I had to desperately fight on overwhelming urge to buy a new mouse. This week they must have stepped up their game because I've been daydreaming about laptops.

Oh, the humanity.

5 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

At least it wasn't the DELL GUY who hijacked your PC. Remember HIM? Urgh, annoying little sh*t! Almost as annoying as the smug, sanctimonious Mac guy.

Utah Savage said...

I'm dreaming of a new mouse too. For my huge newish Imac. Yes I am a smug asshole, but now I regret not getting a laptop. That way I would never have had to leave my bed.

Cowguy said...

If you shake the mouse violently it speeds it up.

It's a fact.

Really.

J.

SpookyRach said...

Cheney? Stock in Intell? brrrr...did it just get really evil in here?

cursing has been shown to speed up the processing incrementally as well. Provided you are creative with it and direct it into the microphone.

Now I've got this stuck in my head: Who knows what eeevil lurks...in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows...muahahahahaaaaaaa!

Bruce said...

The men in black are probably walking up your driveway as I type this.......