Saturday, September 19, 2009

The evolution of a blogger



One year, 27 days and 161 posts ago, I officially became a blogger.

It all started with an offhand comment from a friend. I was deep in the throes of job hunting and seriously frustrated with the process. I had been stood up, made to do role play and the final straw -- one of my interviewers fell asleep.

As I was moaning about my experiences and prattling on about the undignified world of the job search, my friend said, “Why don’t you write a blog.”

It took a minute for my brain to process the idea. Then I laughed. If you’ve read my masthead, you know I am a self-professed luddite and the thought of jumping into the blogosphere was skulking no where in my universe.

That night I woke up in the wee hours and instead of counting sheep, I started a one-person brainstorming session about blog possibilities. The next day I logged on to blogger.

The original concept was to rant about the idiocy of potential employers as a means to ease some frustration and maybe amuse a few simpatico cyber surfers. But as I jumped into writing, I just couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm for a good rant. It seemed so self-absorbed, so whiny, so “who cares.”

Instead I began writing in an essay style. Talking about what inspired me, what I enjoyed, how I viewed the world. Sometimes I took two or three days and many hours to finish a post. I searched for the right word, a unique perspective, an original thought. It was relatively satisfying.

Then I began running out of material to write about. Being insightful isn’t so damn easy.

About that time, I started cruising through the blogosphere. I bounced from post to post and was impressed by the creativity, the variety, the fresh voices I found. I wanted to be funny. Then I decided I wanted to be impactful. Or how about writing around a certain theme. Where could I find brilliant photos? Maybe poetry. Maybe fiction. I could do recipes or talk about gardening.

Enough already!!! I was making myself crazy trying to catch up with everyone else. Wanting to be as good. Trying to be better. Trolling for followers. Spending hours making comments.

Thankfully I finally settled down and just started having fun. I locked onto some interesting sites and made good friends. I was impressed by the bounty of generous, kind, talented people hanging out in cyber space. I felt so at home. I was enthralled with the sense of community. I loved the expression.

And I spent way too many hours being consumed by posting and exploring my blog roll.

That brings us to present time. The phase I am in now I would say is a classic case of burn out. It’s fairly typical of my personality – diving in feet first, keeping a frantic pace, eventually wearing down my enthusiasm.

But before it’s never been such a dilemma.

I don’t want to walk away from the blogosphere, but it seems so...so…so ….uncommitted? half-hearted?.... to do it with one foot in, one foot out. The conundrum is the fence I am riding.

This was a long winded way of saying, you’re not going to be seeing as much of me. I think maybe I am morphing into a lurker. I will be hanging out in your comment pop-up box and when you least expect it, a tart response will appear. Maybe I will even have something to post about once in a while. Maybe not.

A couple of months back I did a Six Word Saturday post, half of which said I was: “embracing the unexpected”. Bottom line -- that could be what this shift is all about. I am clearing the deck for what is coming next in my life.

When I find out what that is, I will let you know.


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26 comments:

Kelly said...

I have really enjoyed reading your blog and getting to know you better through it. And please know that it was never whiny or not good enough! As a matter of fact, if I ever thought I wanted to write a blog I would think about yours YOURS and think...nah! It was always good. Best of luck to whatever you decide!

Kristin said...

Don't stop blogging! I just got into it myself and I just found your blog =)

PS. I guess I'm kind of a luddite myself when I think about it....

Gail said...

Your blog is wonderful. I have enjoyed it so much and it was never stale or boring and actually quite good.

Don't lose touch.

ds said...

Your blog has been interesting and exciting and witty ever since I first discovered you. It is fun to hang out here!

Stay in touch (I will look for updates, with hope). Best of luck with whatever becomes the "next phase".

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Just watch though. Now you've decided to go on semi-hiatus, exciting blogworthy stuff will happen to you every day (there's some law dictates it) and you'll post regardless. I hope. :) I hope you're not going to be a stranger? Naturally I'll continue to pester you via email because I'm relentless.

Cormac Brown said...

You could try Friday Flash Fiction, but then you'd have to come by to do that. All kidding aside, it's hard when you hit the blogging wall because the blogging wall hits back and hits back hard.

Kathleen said...

This is fascinating! I sure appreciate your creativity but hate to think it's been draining. So I hope what brings you back to the blogworld is what jazzes you, what gives you energy, what floats your boat!

I feel like I've evolved, too. I'm not insisting to myself that I post every day. Only when it brings me pleasure and joy.

Hope you'll lurk all you want around my blog and comment when so moved.

Your rock, Pyzahn! Looking forward to hearing where the road takes you.

Nancy said...

I started blogging to nimble up those writing skills. So maybe your fingers are nimbled, if there is such a word, and now you're ready to go on to bigger and better things. Just be sure to let us know when you do - we love happy endings.

Protege said...

I do not come here very often or not often enough, but when I do, I love what I read.;)
Thank you for sharing your blogging beginnings; I think we can all relate to that.
And congratulation on your one year something anniversary.;))
xo

Fresh said...

Your talent and intelligent will be enjoyed by those around you no matter what you're doing. You're a super-blogger, and I hope you stick around. But if you decide to move on, I pray that you'll have peace and joy.

Take care! Love from Texas.

Rudee said...

OMG! You've been kidnapped by Facebook and Twitter, haven't you?

You are a clever writer who needs a break. I understand that it's hard to keep up with the reciprocation of being a blogger. Writing, responding to comments, visiting and leaving comments on other blogs is time consuming.

I'm hoping this will be just a phase, because I'd miss your prattle.

If you have been kidnapped by those other sites, let us know. We'll send a posse to rescue you from their tentacles.

Comedy Goddess said...

I know how you feel. It's an odd love affair, blogging.

Best wishes, and many bliss-ings to you!

Ribbon said...

When the fun stops so should the blog :)

take care and enjoy your much deserved time away from the computer screen.

thank you for all that you have shared.
best wishes
Ribbon :)

Joanne said...

Hah dont leave now,I would love you to do some more doggy posts? Oh and have you had any luck with the house sale?

drollgirl said...

oh, i hear you on this. a friend told me to start a blog a year or so ago, and i pooh-poohed it for months. then i realized how bored and lonely i was, and blogging has helped me with that a lot. sometimes now it is hard for me to muster the energy or creativity that should be used to make good blog posts. it is hard to keep up with it when feeling depressed or busy or unenthusastic. but i don't want to throw away what has helped in the tough times.

so, i guess what i am saying is that i understand. i will be happy to see or hear from you when you are ready. and if that is only every so often, so be it.

and i can't wait to find out what is coming next in your life. that is exciting. :)

Bruce said...

Interesting that we both started blogging out of frustration....that must be the two camps....those that right about all sweetness and light and those that start out becuase they are pissed about something.

Cynthia L. H. said...

Enjoy the journey!
;^)

Lindy MacDuff said...

Well, BUMMER! But, I understand the burnout part. You obviously have a lot of talent. Why blog (or anything else) if it's only half-hearted? I can attest to the fact that too much time in front of the computer screen is bad for one's skeletal system. Wishing you exciting, interesting times in whatever is "coming next."

Lori ann said...

Pyzahn,
I know how you feel, we all have our reasons for starting and then stopping I suppose. When you know you know.
I'm still going to check on you though, just in case. And if you stop in to see me, please say hi!
xoxo lori

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I just found you and was looking forward to reading much more, but I completely understand. In the last few months I have seen so many good blogs end. It just may be that after awhile it becomes work intensive instead of fun or satisfying. I hope you do continue to post now and then.

lakeviewer said...

It happens to everybody; after a while, life moves in a different direction and blogging takes a back row. The nice thing is that you have met some people you can still visit when you feel like it; you can post when you feel like it; you can re-vamp the blog as you see fit and nobody will mind.

So, let the mood in when it wants to. It's all good. How is work?

Marvin D Wilson said...

"Thankfully I finally settled down and just started having fun."

Yep, and if it ever stops being that then of course you have to reconsider.

The Old Silly

The Cottage Cheese said...

Dear girl, you will be missed! I have been having trouble keeping up with my blog reading, as you can tell by my belated comment. I have also been tempted to quit posting because it has become rather consuming, and perhaps one day I will. However, I have made so many new friends through blogging, and it would be like saying goodbye to them (or at least ending any sort of two-way communication).

Please don't be a stranger! Even if you only post a paragraph once a month to let us know how you're doing, or where the next chapter of your life is leading you. You are such an excellent writer, and if you don't use the blog to share you writing, please share your writing with the world elsewhere. Good luck girlie, wherever you end up. Be healthy, be happy, and may you find everything that your heart desires! :)

Lori ann said...

Hi Pat!
I'm just stopping in to say hello, I went to blingee today and thought of you. My daughter emailed me a photo of her new boyfriend and i had some fun with it. hmmm? i hope she won't be mad! hahaha.
I hope all is well with you and you are enjoying the fall.
x lori

we_be_toys said...

I think the fact you have to go on sabbatical from the blogosphere is proof positive that you have more than a virtual life!
Seriously, I think every blogger worth their salt hits this wall. Take some time, recharge.
I can't wait to hear all about it when you get back!

A Thousand Clapping Hands said...

Oh my goodness! We are on the same wavelength. I, too, have stopped blogging - maybe to return. Not sure. Thank you so much for your many visits and kind comments, Pyzahn. It was a pleasure to 'meet' you.

Catherine