Monday, June 22, 2009

My mojo is not working

Does anyone remember the popularity of the theory of biorhythms?

All the rage in the 80s, this theory claims that one’s life is affected by rhythmic biological cycles. There are believed to be three processes governing human behavior through a predictable period of time. Each “rhythm” has a different cycle as follows: physical/23 day cycle, emotional/28 day cycle (sound familiar, ladies?) and intellectual/33 day cycle.

Through this time period, the rhythm flows up for half of the cycle, then down for the last half. Flowing up is good, flowing down not so much. And as the cycles intersect each other, a co-mingling of biorhythms takes effect. If they are all coming down at the same time --- whoa! – look out. Blame is placed: “Ugh, my biorhythms are down.”

Well, folks, at this moment in time, my biorhythms are in the toilet.

On occasion, actually about every seven years, I go into this energy backlash where weird stuff happens. Mostly it’s mechanical. Time pieces stop. Light fixtures fall out of the wall. Equipment breaks. I also experience very cross people. In general, bad juju. My mojo is out of whack.

The highlights this go ‘round: My DVD player stopped functioning. The air conditioning condenser is making a high pitched whine that could top the list of Dick Cheney’s torture methods. A fuse that controls the clothes dryer blew out. I had a day where Blogger wouldn’t load photos. My ear phones for the health club cardio equipment just vanished. Poof. Gone. A vintage lamp in my office fell over breaking a large globe. Sigh. Enough is enough.

Except there’s still the part about cross people. In the past ten days I have received fines for three traffic violations. Two for speeding, where my breakneck pace was clocked at a whopping 31 and 36 MPH. Then today as I walked back to my parked car, a very large, gruff meter maid was giving me a ticket. My sin? The meter had been expired for three lousy minutes. Honestly, there should be a good faith grace period.

Friends of the Blogosphere send me your light and positive energy. Biorhythm defense mechanisms wanted. If you know any incantations, pass them along. Light a candle. Call on a saint. Chicken bone rituals or magic spells – I will not scoff.

I just want my mojo back.



Anonymous said...

Oh those tickets are HARSH! Bummer for sure. I wonder how my mojo is. It's been an effed up year for me in so many ways then awesome in others. Maybe I can send some of the awesome part your way in vibe form?

Kathleen said...

Yeesh! Mercury must be retrograde!

That sounds perfectly awful. Every seven years, eh?

Break any mirrors lately?

Sending major positive light, energy, juju, mojo, candlelight, tea leaves, incantations, and metta your way-- post haste!

Oh, and I highly recommend acupuncture for getting that those biorhythms (aka chi) flowing in the right direction. In fact, I swear by it. And I'm totally needle phobic. If nothing else, you'll have an hour of complete relaxation. Just don't let them do anything with their little electrical wire stimulation! gizmos.

Some Guy said...

Good vibes coming your way!

Cormac Brown said...

"Two for speeding, where my breakneck pace was clocked at a whopping 31 and 36 MPH."

Pyzahn, Mizzou's Public Enemy #1!

Anonymous said...

Aww, sorry Sweets! I hate when that happens! AND...I'm sure you know this but doesn't our body shed old cells for a complete new set every seven years?

Your new set of cells awaits you my dear!


Rudee said...

I will send you good thoughts, but consider the following:
1. I had to spend Father's Day in the hospital with one of the most ungrateful humans on the planet.
2. My dishwasher went caput.
3. Every time I run the washer and dryer together, it trips the GFI switch and makes me run up and down the stairs 800,000 times a day to fix the stupid thing.
4. I made a medication error at work. Well I didn't, but the non English speaking family member did.
5. I think I need a root canal.

As you can see, you may not want my karma here. I seem to be on the same plane as you.

ds said...

OUCH!!! I was going to mention the 7-year renewal thing but Quirkyloon beat me to it. Guess it just makes you more vulnerable to all the negative energy that's out there. So here are many many positive thoughts/wishes for the speedy recovery of your 'mojo.'

Lover of Life said...

Man, you do need love and light! Sending your way!!

Make sure you are thinking positive thoughts, so as not to attract anything negative.

Bruce said...

I believe that a lot of this isn't MoJo or biorythems as much as it is planned obsolescene....things are just designed to break....and they are all breaking for you at the same time......not is karma. (trying to send good karma your way)

Insults said...

Big love your way!

SILVER said...

sorry to hear about a lousy week..kick off your shoes and just breathe deeply. Wishing you much positive energies from here..


drollgirl said...

its times like these that one wishes one was a bear that could hibernate and awaken when it was all over. :( i hope things get better soon. REAL SOON. :)

Renee said...

If the last picture is of you, you are beautiful.

Thanks for the link.

Love Renee xoxo

The Cottage Cheese said...

Wow, your biorythms really have been off! That's a lot of weird stuff to go wrong in a short amount of time. I hope things are getting back in order. You are due for some good luck!