Tuesday, July 14, 2009

To bed, perchance to sleep



Have you ever gone to bed, dead tired, yawning like a yak and completely unsuspecting, only to have insomnia reach up from the depths of hell and wrap you in his torturous grip?

You lie there in the dark wrestling with the sheets. Tossing and turning, certain that if you just shift a bit one way or the other you will be comfortable, you will fall asleep. Roll to your side. Roll to your other side. Stare at the ceiling. Watch the clock.

Instead of slipping into a state of slumber your brain is jet fueled. You wonder, was it something I ate? Was it something I read? From there your mind wanders unprovoked into the murky waters of that nocturnal demon – the mindless stream of conscious chatter.

And you can’t shut it off.

Now restless leg syndrome kicks in. Literally. At first just a mild twitch. Then a more robust jerk. You stretch out your leg and jiggle it around hoping to shake off the unwanted movement. It doesn’t work. Now you are in a full on thrashing mode and innocent animal companions, one by one, cat/dog/cat, are catapulted from your bed.

It’s at this point that you sit up and scream: “For the love of God, please somebody just shoot me!!!”

And so it goes.

When other folks talk about insomnia and they say, “Oh, I couldn’t sleep so I got up and cleaned the house”….I’m torn. I don’t know if I admire them or I hate them. I refuse to let this beast force me into doing something productive. This is my time to relax, let go, be at one with rapid eye movement.

I am hopeful that tonight will be better.


Now, blessings light on him that first invented sleep! It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak; it is meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, heat for the cold, and cold for the hot. It is the current coin that purchases all the pleasures of the world cheap, and the balance that sets the king and the shepherd, the fool and the wise man, even.
~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605


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19 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

This is me every night at the moment. I go through phases of insomnia and it sucks. Some nights I do get up and mess around online or write blog entries or whatever. Other nights I'm so damn tired I just lie peacefully awake in bed and wait for the alarm to go off in the morning. Either way it's frustrating. I managed 2 hours last night of lovely sleep. I'm hoping tonight's better. I have the worst headache. Whine, whine, whine. :)

Good luck with yours!

lakeviewer said...

Oh my, I feel for you. Can you take something for it? I tend to get up, go watch old movies and fall asleep watching television. Of course, the next day I'm restless and irritable just the same.

Kathleen said...

You crack me up! How will I ever go to sleep tonight now. Every time I turn I'm going to burst into laughter, and Mr. B isn't going to find that very funny!

You are truly remarkable, Pyzahn. Have you always had that sense of humor? I know you've always had that sensational gift of prose!

Brian Miller said...

uggghhh...too many times...hope you get some rest tonight.

Lori ann said...

Oh dear. I would take a bath maybe, or get a flashlight and read under the covers!

I do hope you get some sleep!

lisa said...

Experience this alot. I usually end up falling asleep 10 minutes before it's time to get up. I'm exhausted most of the time.

ellen abbott said...

Boy does this sound familiar. When it happens to me, I'll usually get up and read for a couple of hours and then about 5 AM, I'm ready to go back to sleep. Doesn't happen every night. Sometimes I'll just lay in bed trying to convince myself that if I'm not sleeping, at least I'm resting.

Thanks for visiting my blog. Come often and stay late.

Quirkyloon said...

I watch tv. I hope the numbing of my brain will cause me to fall asleep.

Poor thing, insomnia...not a pleasant thing.

And...that pic CREEPED me out! heh heh

ds said...

There's a lovely shadow of a tree cast on the wall by a streetlamp. I think we've bonded...

Rudee said...

You describe that devil so completely. Kudos on such a well written piece of work.

My problem is work. I don't clock off until 12:30AM and can't go to sleep right away. When I do, I often have had drug calculations going through my head and the idea I made a huge error will make me panic . I will jump up to check what I wrote in the doctor's orders to be sure I didn't make a stupid little mathematical mistake. These are the things that traumatize me as I try to get a little shut eye. It doesn't seem like it could be plausible, but we use super concentrated drugs that have hundreds, sometimes thousands of milligrams of opiates in a little bit of solution. The math makes me nuts because in my mind, I don't want my potential math error to cause death. Sheesh. Still, it's better than RLS.

It's a testament to their loyalty that your pets keep coming back for more cuddle time. They must adore you.

Cormac Brown said...

As far as the restless leg syndrome? Try pilates, the scissor moves in particular and the circulation in your legs should return to normal.

Comedy Goddess said...

Insomnia is the absolute worst! Let me know if you find a cure, aside from heavy duty meds.

drollgirl said...

i love to sleep. LOVE IT. and when it goes well, it is the most delightful thing ever. and when it ends up as described in your post, it is MADDENING.

sometimes tylenol pm helps if i am having trouble. and sometimes it doesn't.

Multiple personalities.. said...

Oh my gosh! Were you listening in to my inner dialogue last night? 'Cause I couldn't sleep either! I totally feel your pain. As for cleaning my house when I can't sleep...yea right! I don't like cleaning when I'm awake! I find that reading usually helps me fall back asleep. I think it helps quiet the yapping monkeys in my brain because I focus on something totally outside of myself. I hope you have a better night, too. Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

T said...

Oh my, you just described me to a T. :))

And, if it makes you feel any better, I am not one of those that will get myself out of bed to do something productive, I FIGHT IT!! With all my might, I fight to try and just lie there, until eventually, I just might be able to nod off, even if just for a short while.

Jim said...

Ughh--Insomnia doesn't strike me often, but when it does, it's mofo-intense. I go for a walk, no matter what time of nite(without my canines)of at least a half-hour. Once home, grab a book on my "marginal" shelf and read flat on my back in da sack. It works 90% of the time & it beats thrashing & motor mind. Avoid computer and the cleaning pixies at all costs!

soulbrush said...

helo how awful. i take something, can't struggle like that. hate insomnia...

Ribbon said...

I meditate before sleep or should I say I often fall asleep while meditating.
I do this every evening :)

best wishes
Ribbon

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