Tuesday, July 14, 2009
To bed, perchance to sleep
Have you ever gone to bed, dead tired, yawning like a yak and completely unsuspecting, only to have insomnia reach up from the depths of hell and wrap you in his torturous grip?
You lie there in the dark wrestling with the sheets. Tossing and turning, certain that if you just shift a bit one way or the other you will be comfortable, you will fall asleep. Roll to your side. Roll to your other side. Stare at the ceiling. Watch the clock.
Instead of slipping into a state of slumber your brain is jet fueled. You wonder, was it something I ate? Was it something I read? From there your mind wanders unprovoked into the murky waters of that nocturnal demon – the mindless stream of conscious chatter.
And you can’t shut it off.
Now restless leg syndrome kicks in. Literally. At first just a mild twitch. Then a more robust jerk. You stretch out your leg and jiggle it around hoping to shake off the unwanted movement. It doesn’t work. Now you are in a full on thrashing mode and innocent animal companions, one by one, cat/dog/cat, are catapulted from your bed.
It’s at this point that you sit up and scream: “For the love of God, please somebody just shoot me!!!”
And so it goes.
When other folks talk about insomnia and they say, “Oh, I couldn’t sleep so I got up and cleaned the house”….I’m torn. I don’t know if I admire them or I hate them. I refuse to let this beast force me into doing something productive. This is my time to relax, let go, be at one with rapid eye movement.
I am hopeful that tonight will be better.
Now, blessings light on him that first invented sleep! It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak; it is meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, heat for the cold, and cold for the hot. It is the current coin that purchases all the pleasures of the world cheap, and the balance that sets the king and the shepherd, the fool and the wise man, even.
~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605